Moving from "Dys-" to "Mis-"
reframing dysregulation as misalignment
I have always been really interested in language formation, its nuances and contexts, especially how the words we choose to describe ourselves can accidentally become indictments.
When we think about the etymologies of the words we use, we find that dysregulation is built upon the Latin regula, the ruler used to enforce governance and order. In Ancient Greek, the prefix dys- implies something is bad, ill, abnormal, or impaired. It’s fundamentally pathological, since if you attach dys- to a word, you are saying something is malfunctioning. It is the same prefix we use for dysfunction or dystopia for instance, which suggests the very core of the thing has gone wrong.
This creates a clinical nuance of internal failure, as if the biological thermostat has broken and can no longer maintain homeostasis, that steady internal state required for survival. It feels like a glitch in the machinery, a systemic error where the body’s ruler has snapped, leaving the person to spiral without a guide.
On the 20th of May, I am aiming to reframe dysregulation as misalignment.
If this interests you, please book your space here. A recording will be provided to all ticket holders.
But what if this isn’t a failure of internal control at all, but rather a perfect, visible expression of misalignment? While the Greek prefix dys- implies a brokenness or impairment, the Germanic mis- suggests something has gone amiss or astray, and the derivation of the French alignement describes the act of bringing parts into a specific relationship with a line or a thread. The nuance here moves from broken to displaced.
To use mis- is to acknowledge that a thing has a proper place, but it is currently not in it. It suggests a deviation from a path rather than a fundamental malfunction.
It is a spatial truth rather than a moral or mechanical failing, describing a mismatch between the internal state and the external reality. When we are misaligned, our nervous system is not failing to function but rather functioning with high accuracy within an environment that is hostile, chaotic, or fundamentally unsuited to our biology.
Society is obsessed with the idea of the self-regulated individual, treating the Latin root of regulation like a mandate for personal policing. We teach coping skills as if they are software patches for a glitchy operating system, telling people to breathe, to meditate, and to manage their triggers. In doing so, we are inadvertently saying that it is solely their job to maintain a state of calm regardless of the chaos, noise, or absurdity of the world around them. It is exhausting just talking about it, let alone actually doing it. This approach views the human as a closed loop, but we are actually open-circuit biological organisms designed to be in a constant conversation with our surroundings.
In this light, the dysregulated person is actually the most honest person in the room, the one whose body is accurately reporting that the current environment, expectation, or system is unworkable. Their nervous system is aligned with a reality that the rest of the room is maybe trying to ignore.
We cannot regulate ourselves into a version of reality that doesn’t fit our biology, irrespective of the tools and hacks we have at our disposal. Alignment acknowledges that the linen thread of our well-being must connect our internal state to an external world that actually sustains it, rather than forcing the body to lie about the friction it feels.
Book your space here for May’s webinar - Dysregulation reframed as misaligment
Upcoming events:
On the 19th of June you can find me in London, speaking at the Autism & ADHD Show.
In August I am being part of the Autistic Mental Health Conference.
⭐ If you’re on any social media, come join me on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn.
⭐ Come and have a look at my website, to find out what I do, who I am and browse a lovely catalogue of resources.
